Lisa Lampanelli's Haven by the Shore

We visit with funnywoman Lisa Lampanelli as she settles into a feel-good waterfront beach house in Fairfield.

 

Photography by Robert Benson

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Lisa Lampanelli shoots from the hip. And not just when the edgy comedian is onstage, trashing this ethnicity or that, with a mouth any self-respecting mother would hasten to wash out with soap.

No, even in “real life,” Lampanelli is honest and direct. If she wants something, she asks for it. If she wants something done, she does it herself. Which leaves her precious little patience for anyone (or anything) that gets in the way.

To wit: In early May, Lampanelli decided to buy a home on Fairfield Beach. She came to that conclusion in an hour, while taking the Post Road instead of the highway, on her way home to Manhattan after visiting her parents in Trumbull, where she grew up. She meandered through shoreline communities along the way, and finding the Fairfield vibe to her liking, promptly called a real estate agent to set up some appointments.

“The next Sunday was Mother’s Day. I told the agent ‘Look, if you want to make a quick commission, you’ll work on the holiday,’” she says. By the weekend, the agent had scheduled showings for seven beachfront homes, plus one across the street. A frustrated Lampanelli remembers: “I said, ‘What the f--- is this? I said beach houses and I meant it!’ I told her not to waste my time.”

Immediately sold on a narrow but surprisingly roomy, well-constructed 4-to-5 bedroom (depending how you look at it) home, Lampanelli had within weeks laid claim to her own stretch of sand—and the home she says she’s been looking for all her life. By mid-July she was all moved in.

“It’s just like being on the Cape, which I love—but without the drive,” she says. “With every place I’ve ever lived, I go with my gut, but never have I felt this way about a house. It’s like this is the place I always wanted to end up, but didn’t know it. It feels really, really good.”

When she’s not working, the comic looks nothing like the brash blonde she portrays onstage. At the beach she wears sweats, goes without makeup and knots her hair in a ponytail. She’s clearly relaxed in the home she shares with her husband of two years, Jimmy Cannizzaro, and their little dog, Parker.
 

Queen of Mean

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